Ok, let’s have a moment of honesty here. Who am I kidding, this whole blog is filled with shameless honesty (that I should probably sometimes be a little ashamed about…). I’m not so great when it comes to this whole blogging thing. Content quality – yeah I guess that’s alright (going by the feedback all of your rad, rad people give me), but frequency? Shameful.
I had so many ideas over New Year’s. How I was kicking off 2016. A wedding planning series. All the strange and questionable feelings I have about certain things and wanting to find out if anyone else felt like that too so I didn’t feel like a complete and utter weirdo. So. Many. Ideas.
So. Little. Time. So. Much. Procrastinating.
I love blogging – it’s my therapy – but sometimes I struggle to make time for it when things like full time work, running my own business on the side, keeping my dog (and I guess my fiancé) entertained and trying to maintain a semi-clean house take up much of my time. I have a completed post about our engagement party sitting there waiting for some photos to be added, but having left it a few weeks, I felt like it had expired. Along with the cool hike I did with some friends on New Year’s Eve and a wonderful girl’s weekend away at the end of January. My hesitation to write is all in my own head though – because who cares when I post those things? You don’t (necessarily) know when they actually happened. (Actually I would tell you. I’m too honest.)
But you probably don’t care they were a month, two months, SIX months ago! Or even if you do think my blog posts have been sitting in the bottom of the veggie crisper waaaay too long and have no place to be there – guess what? This is my
fridge blog, so I guess I have creative rights and can do what I want! So now I have some time…well I like to think I have some time, but you never know what might sneak up on you…I am going to commit to sharing those moments. Forget the expiry date; if something still smells ok to me, I’m going to eat it and I don’t see why I should feel any differently about this blog. (I’m not gross. I swear. If something is actually off, I definitely throw it out.)
While we’re on topic, hands up if you don’t do things, or sometimes DO do things, because you’re worried what other people will think? I’ve been battling with my own personality quite a bit lately; always concerned how I come across to people, and whether they take me seriously or think I’m a bit of a whinger. Whether I crack too many jokes, talk too much or become too upset too easily. And, more importantly in my naïve mind, whether I don’t live up to people’s expectations; if perhaps they’re second-guessing having hired me, asked me to help them or don’t think I’m as talented/clever/great as I may have initially come across.
Having spent yet another hour worrying myself with these thoughts on my daily commute home one day, I suddenly had a light bulb moment; a moment that contained the most cliché advice anyone could ever give you, and something I’ve probably told people a hundred times, but never actually taken on board myself.
Never apologise for who you are*. So what if I’m an emotional person? Yeah, I talk a lot and crack lame jokes – but sometimes, my outgoing nature and cringe-worthy one liners make people happy! Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same and limited who we were within a small box, pre-approved by all of those around us. It is totally cool with me if people don’t like me for who I already am. If I don’t live up to their expectations – cool. That’s their problem; they were the ones responsible for setting those expectations – not me. And if they’ve asked me to do something for them? Well it’s probably because they like what I do and they’re actually happy with how I do it as I am, because despite my wishful thinking, I don’t just magically turn into someone else overnight.
I’ve been cooking up this personality for almost 28 years and if it’s survived that long, perhaps it is worth sticking with. And all I can hope is that you’ll choose to stick with me too.
So moral of the story? More blog posts. Cool. I’m excited about it and I promise I’ll be seeing you very, very soon.
*Sometimes you should definitely apologise for things you do though. Please don’t get those two confused.