“Congratulations. I’d sound more enthusiastic, but I’m not that big a person.” – Meredith Gray
I’ve (still) been binge watching Grey’s Anatomy lately (George in that army uniform – gah, it gets me right in the blood pumper every single time!) and this particular quote stood out to me a little more than the seemingly endless witty one liners those ridiculously good looking doctors spit out every episode.
In fact, it seems life has been pelting me right in the forehead with a variety of quotable quotes, images and blog posts by very intelligent women lately; all with one theme in common.
It started out with this video by a few of my favourite bloggers and who knows, maybe this particular issue has been catching my attention because I’ve acknowledged it’s a problem I have. Or maybe it’s the universe double checking I’m really aware of what’s hanging out in the back on my mind lately. Either way, what’s important is that I (wo)man up and take notice.
To be honest, the reason I started this blog is because I kept seeing friends of mine start up blogs and do really well with them, and that’s great! Fantastic even! But I also kept thinking to myself “Man, I wish that was me”. I felt a bit short changed because writing is my jam; it’s my thing. And I was jealous these people were doing so well with their writing projects, all whilst I didn’t have the guts to attempt it myself.
It doesn’t end at blogs either. It’s that initial split second reaction I have to the successes of all my friends. I’m so happy and excited about the awesome things they’re achieving, but at the same time I’m thinking “Why isn’t that happening to me?” And the sad thing is, it doesn’t just end at my friends. It’s every person out there doing really cool things and posting about them online for the world to see.
The girl pulling off some fully sick yoga poses? What about me?
The one who’s getting paid to fly all over the world? What about me?
And don’t forget the girls kicking butt in their glamorous jobs and climbing the corporate ladder at what seems like two rungs at a time. What. About. Me?
So here I am, sounding like a sad Moving Pictures song from the ’80s and suddenly realising how pathetic I am. Because the reality is, I don’t even want to do half those things these girls are doing, and instead of looking at them with a scowl, I should be high-fiving them for being amazing! The problem is, they’re a constant reminder that I’m not making much of an effort to attempt any of my own personal goals lately and I’d rather mask that feeling of guilt with one of jealousy than admit to how lazy I’ve been.
So lesson number one?
And lesson number two.
Starting this blog was my first attempt at addressing my seemingly selfish issue. It was time to stop wishing I could do what my talented mates were doing and just bloody well do my own thing for once. And instead of seeing every other woman out there as the competition, I want to celebrate their achievements and take inspiration from their determination and hard work; not feel resentment.
One of the most interesting things I’ve learned throughout this enlightenment is that these astounding women I’ve been stalking on social media and wishing I was more like are most likely doing the same thing to other equally awe-inspiring individuals.
An old friend of mine is not only one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met inside and out, but has been kicking goal after goal with her career since leaving school and I’ve always thought “she just has it so together”. Yet after reading my first blog post, she informed me she always thought I was the one who had it so together. In fact, she feels a lot like I do; in her 20s and completely unsure about where she’s going next in life. From the outside however, all we see is Wonder Woman. (Lots of love to you A!)
Who woulda thunk it? We’re all really just like one another, stumbling along yet fooling the rest of the world into thinking we know exactly what’s up by posting our shiniest moments (and let’s not deny it, we all have a lot of them) through the rainbow lenses on various social media platforms. And that, my friends, is A-OK. Because we deserve to share every inch of our successes (and even glam them up a bit with a sweet filter), and while we’re also allowed to share our weakest moments, it’s alright to keep those ones to ourselves if we want to.
Out of all the wake up calls life threw at me this week, this one probably hit me the hardest, leaving me a much deserved dent in my rather large noggin. (It is rather huge and makes wearing hats pretty difficult.)
My focus? To forget about how other people perceive me and stop worrying about whether I look good on Instagram or have more Twitter followers than the next person. (I don’t by the way. I suck at Twitter and I’ve come to terms with that.) I just want to be happy with myself, and most importantly, happy with the way I treat others. Because people might remember that cute outfit you looked really great in last weekend for a moment, but at the end of the day, all they really remember is how you made them feel.
And that’s the most important thing for me.