It’s a new year and a chance to sit down, set some goals and feel like it’s your ‘fresh start’.
I’ve tried these ‘fresh starts’ for a good chunk of my life now. I’ll work harder. Travel overseas. Volunteer. Drink more water. Run three times a week. Not eat chocolate. The list is endless and, most often, hopeless.
Come 2015, I was stumped. My ‘goals’ felt empty and meaningless. I have a really rough idea about what I’d like to achieve in this life, but at the end of the day I find myself binge watching Grey’s Anatomy while Facebook stalking (come on, we all do it) and growing increasingly jealous of those people who are out actually achieving their goals and doing the things I want to be doing. Yet here I sit, doing absolutely nothing about it.
Your 20s are supposed to be exciting; a time to explore the world, find your feet and discover the person you’re going to be. At least that’s what we’re taught as children. My life was set out for me up until I graduated university. Where I went next, what I was going to do – it was by the book. My parents, my teachers and my mentors all pointed out the way, gave me a gentle shove in the backside and down that path I trundled, like the good little girl I was.
But somehow university finished four years ago and someone should really sack the gardener because this path has become seriously overgrown.
Here I am in my mid-20s – ok, I’m pushing my late-20s, but I’m absolutely in denial about it – and I’m just sitting around waiting for this grand, exciting life I’m supposed to be living to happen. I’m terrified that if I don’t have my life sorted out by the time I’m 30, it will be too late. Of course, I know that’s ridiculous. But at the same time – I don’t.
This year, there will be no goals. (Well I am trying for a whole year without alcohol, but that’s another post for another day.) I’m admitting to myself that I have no freaking idea how to go about life. How to get from A to B. How to escape the jungle my path has turned into. In fact, I am embracing this idea and taking it day by day.
This blog is for me to document how ridiculous being in your 20s is, share the cool and remotely interesting things I do manage to do (and learn), and highlight the fact that yeah, some people may be doing some great things, but behind the Facebook statuses and Instagram photos, they probably don’t have their shit sorted out either, and that’s ok.
Maybe you’re just dawdling through your 20s too. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to tell you how to do it right. I’m not here to inspire you or hand out advice like restaurant flyers in China Town. I’m just here to invite you along for the ride, ask you to hold my hand when it gets a little rough and maybe, just maybe, feel like someone else understands how it feels to not quite know how you feel about it all.
And today, my friend, is only day one.